Singles are not second class Christians

Singles are not second class Christians

I am of the belief that singleness is one of the most misunderstood and mishandled seasons for a Christian. I can only help speak from a guy’s perspective but over the past few years the Lord has really blew up and then reconstructed my view on singleness. I, like many, was of the opinion that being single was a crutch, not a gift. In the space below I will try to lay out why I think singleness is a much bigger gift than we often believe.




One of the big reasons for the misunderstanding of singleness is that those in relationships or already
married give off this stigma that you haven’t really made it as a Christian if you aren't married.
It’s like being single is this second rate class of Christian who in order to “really” be of benefit need
to be married. The interesting thing is Paul totally refutes this notion. Let’s take a look at what Paul
says about singleness in 1st Corinthians 7:

Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all wereas I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for themto remain single as I am. (1 Corinthians 7:6-8, ESV)

Why would Paul say this? Why would he want those who are unmarried to stay single? He answers later on.

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things
of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
 (1 Corinthians 7:32-35, ESV)

So we can see here that Paul wants those who are single to remain single so that they can whole
heartedly serve the Lord. Those who are single are only anxious about “things that please the Lord”.
I am not implying that everyone should stay single forever, what I am saying is that while you are in the season of singleness, use this as a time to draw near to the Lord and be anxious of the things of the Lord. In my personal experience my singleness has been such a blessing and I can truly see it as a gift from God.I am able to hang out with guys I disciple in a moment’s notice. I can go and do as I please no matter if something is planned or if they hit me up out of the blue. I don’t have to ask my wife or worry about what I am going to do with my kids. If the Lord were to call me to plant a church or move to another mission field I would not have to consult with anyone, I can just pick up and move. I want people to see that marriage is a great gift from a great God, but so is singleness. I know people in the church have big hearts and want to see people married as the institution itself is under attack and marriage is one of the greatest ways of sanctification, but your attempts to always be “hooking someone up” often come off as making people feel as if they haven’t made it yet. I think this also puts ridiculous expectations on marriage by those who have yet to partake in it.

My hope is that we can revive Paul’s thoughts on singleness. It starts with the youth. We cannot afford to put so much emphasis on marriage that we make young people feel as if they are a failure if marriage avoids them. We have to look at dating and marriage through the Word of God and get back to our main goal. Our command is to make disciples and this must continue to be our focus. Whatever happens outside of that is up to the Lord. I look forward to the day when our focus is returned to winning souls and not so much on “finding the one”. For me personally this means that I will not settle for finding a spouse by seeking but by serving alongside. If the Lord so wills that I am to marry then praise God, if not, praise God! I can only do what Jesus tells me to do in Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. If you are single I hope that you will join in with me in laying it all on the line to follow Jesus, even if that means you never experience the gift of marriage. If you are married I hope that you will treat single Christians as they ought to be, not as a second rate citizen, but as a heir alongside you of the Kingdom of God. I speak for us all when I say that it would be much appreciated.